As I was laying in bed last night I got to thinking about where I was around the same time last year, which was probably laying in bed. I was thinking about the different things that were happening in my life at the time and all the events of that summer. There was work and surgeries (both planned and unplanned) and family reunions and people...and then I thought about how far away last summer felt and then I though about how far away first semester felt and even things that happened this last semester seem like they were a long time ago and it's all been only over the course of a year. There were some things from this summer that didn't work out quite how I'd planned them and then I was upset because I thought I finally maybe had something even the tiniest bit worked out...wrong. That didn't last long.
It was frustrating and I didn't get it.
That happened a lot this year actually, now that I think about it. I would have some sort of a plan and everything seemed to be working or that I could at least help it along in the process and then God would say, "Not quite, Jessica," and the plan would change. I like to think I'm flexible most of the time, but I'm seeing that I can be flexible when I'm more in control and willing to change not when it seems that God has other ideas. It's a patience thing and it has been/still is a difficult thing for me to learn.
I've been home from school for 3 1/2 days now...have I unpacked any of my stuff yet?...no...I am just living out of my suitcase, things strewn about, as I search for whatever I need at that moment...I hate living out of a suitcase...I leave for New York in 7 days and have yet to start getting things together and ready to go. It's just seems like such a daunting task and I'd rather be outside where it's sunny or hanging out with my dad (which probably means going to the grocery store) because it's his day off...but I can't find anything so at some point it's all going to have to come unpacked...ugh!
Well, here it is...my first ever blog...
I never really saw myself as the type to have blog page, just the type to read them. I'm going to New York this summer, though, and I needed a way to keep a lot of people updated in an easy manner...thus my blog was born...
New York...honestly, the fact that that's where I'll be for a summer still hasn't quite sunk in...what?! New York?! Me?!...Yep, it's true. I have my friend Jody to thank for planting the idea in my head. We both have a heart for urban ministry, she introduced me to CSM (Center for Student Missions), I spent a large chunk of time perusing their website, then thinking and praying, and then applying. I ended up with an interview in New York City over spring break, prayed some more, waited, prayed, and waited...then on April 28 after wondering if I was ever going to hear back I received a call and the invitation to join the CSM team for the summer! She asked if I needed a couple days to think about and I said, 'absolutely not!' Then a whirlwind of forms and books and doing my best to successfully finish out the school year with the knowledge that this was going to be one of the best summers ever...
This could be one of the best summers ever. Right now, I'm a mix of emotions. I'm excited, but there's a little, ok a lot, of nervousness there in a knot in my chest. This is the first summer I won't have spent at home...ever...and that's scary. I know, though, that God has big plans for this summer and I prayed and prayed about this and it is something that He has given me a passion for and so even in the scariness I know that whatever it is, it's going to be good...
