Oops...

For those of you that check this blog, you may have noticed that I haven’t written in a while…except for Mother’s and Father’s Day…I couldn’t not acknowledge the great parents I have on those two days.

Anyway, most of you probably gave up checking to see if there was anything new a long time ago.

Well, here I am again. Here to update you on my life a little. I didn’t write for so long because I wasn’t sure how to put what I was feeling down into words. I started out the school year not wanting to be in school, which resulted in some tears, long phone conversations with my mom, and a lot of conversations with God where I told him the same things over and over. Then I began student teaching in January, something I wanted to do even less than be in classes…cue more tears and long conversations. I thought I didn’t want to teach, but I had no idea what else I wanted to do and there was a whole lot of conflict going on in my head and in my heart…”If this is not what I’m supposed to do then I’m going to need some more guidance, Lord, because I am way confused.”

If I was a toddler then I would have shown up at the school everyday throwing a temper tantrum.

God is funny, though. I ended up enjoying teaching a class I thought I would hate (an Introduction to Speech class consisting of 14 students, mostly freshman, and 11 of those 14 were boys) and then kind of had to make things up as I went while teaching a Tech Theatre class (art is not really my thing and power tools and building things are not either). And even though I wasn’t teaching or directing I got to know the students in the advanced drama class and those in the play.

Fast forward to the second half of the semester…March‐ish…now I’m starting over at a whole new school and just as I was getting comfortable at the first one. And the tears start over…the teacher I was working under was not as pleasant or outgoing as the last two teachers I worked with. He hardly smiled, gave minimal direction and when he did I felt like it was only to tell me if he thought I was doing something wrong. I wasn’t enjoying the two classes I was teaching, either. These kids were a lot harder to get to know and it was like pulling teeth to get them to do anything for me.

Once again I was a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

Here comes God, though, funny, smart guy that he is. My students started to warm up to me and we actually started to have fun in class while I was teaching. I just had to learn how to put my foot down sometimes. The teacher was still his usual self, but I learned not to take it personally and had to look for my own personal wins throughout the day…it also helped that my lunch break was two hours long everyday.
Surprise! I was sad to say goodbye to my students on my last day of teaching. I had actually enjoyed my teaching experiences at both schools. High school kids are funny…especially freshman. They keep you on your toes and will do anything to get out of working (even flattery…”Miss Lewis, you are so beautiful! Do you really want to give us this worksheet?).

The best compliment I received had to be on my very last day of the whole semester. It came from one of those funny freshman boys. I had just given a little speech towards the end of class, just saying goodbye and what not, when a few of them decided they wanted to say something as well. It was mostly just “Miss Lewis, we liked you a lot and we’ll miss you!”…”We liked you better then the first student teacher we had” (I felt good about that one, not going to lie)…anyway, then I call on the last kid and got one of the best compliments I have ever received…drum roll, please…

“Miss Lewis, I like you…” “Ok, thank you…?” “No, I really like you Miss Lewis. I didn’t think I was going to at first…because you’re awkward…but you ended up being really cool”

I am awkward…its true…I’ve accepted it…but to be told that by a freshman (all of them are awkward, it’s a law of nature) but that that’s ok because I was cool…I couldn’t help but laugh.

I fought it. I fought liking this job I didn’t want to do, but then God showed me that I could teach and enjoy it…that what I love most are students and getting to know and interact with them…that I have the best parents and friends ever (thanks for letting me cry and continuing to love and encourage me)…that sometimes you have to be your own personal cheerleader…and most importantly that God is faithful (that’s more like a lesson that I am continually being taught).

So here I am…it’s almost August. I have no idea what I’m doing once my summer job at the Boys and Girls Club is over. ..I don’t go back to school in a few weeks. I’ll be honest. I am nervous about not having another job yet, but if history proves itself I know I can hold on to the truth that God is going to come through…