Lucky...

I know that I get behind on my blog and don't update it enough, and sometimes I don't think I'm so eloquent. I know what I want to say and it's all there in my head, but when I got to write it down it never sounds quite as good...I just needed to get that out there. It doesn't actually have anything to do with what I want to write about...so with that being said and out of the way...

I was just thinking the other day how luck I ended up when I came down here to good ol' Springfield for college. Yes, I was homesick for a good amount of my time Freshmen year, but it didn't really take long for me to make good friends who I could depend on. I knew pretty much right away that we would probably take care of each other for the next four years. My roommate situation wasn't always ideal, but I quickly made friends with the girls across the hall and spent a lot of time with them and I still laugh about some of the things I remember...sorry that was a little cheesy...

Then I also got plugged in right away to a Bible study. My leader was an RA in my building and instantly took us under her wing, and still still to this day calls us her babies and we call her "mama." Allison made us be friends and it was a good thing even though we thought it was dumb at the time. She was always in our business and making sure we were making good decisions and not doing anything too crazy. She always asked us about her lives and I always knew she genuinely cared about us and really wanted to know what was going on. To this day I still see her on a regular basis and she still asks me all about my life.

That Bible study was where I also met the rest of my best friends down here at school. They were strong, Christian girls and we were all going through the same stuff and created an awesome support system for each other, that included sleeping on each other's dorm room floors when things weren't so great. That still is intact 4 years later. I don't think I would have made it through that freshmen year without Mama Allison, Jody, Dana, or Gena. They are how I met the rest of my friends and what set the stage for the rest of my college career.

I just feel really blessed because I know that without any of them I would've ended up miserable and maybe made bad decisions about what I wanted to do with my time while here. God's smart like that and it is obvious to me He was looking out for me the whole time, not that I didn't know that before, but it was sometimes we need Him to just make it painstakingly obvious and He did.

Wishing...

So for the last week or so we have been talking about inner city schools in my education class. We are reading a book called Ordinary Resurrections by Jonathan Kozol and in it he talks about the time he spent with the students in an elementary school in the South Bronx. It is not full of statistics or lecturing about how the public school system in disrepair, which it is and needs help desperately, but it is full og the precious encouters he has with the students and their innocent insight into life and the things they deal with in their everyday lives. I love it and it is certainly not a book I will be selling back to the bookstore.

The main thing, though, is it takes me back to this summer. The particular kids I got to spend time with were not from the Bronx, but from Washington Heights in upper Manhattan, and contrary to popular belief Manhattan is not a place entirely made up of wealth and tourist attractions. I also see the kids at one of our ministries called Father's Heart, where we served dinner to them and their families and hung out with the kids. Sitting in class is hard because I want to be anywhere but in that classroom talking about these kids...I want to be out there with them.

I don't know where it started or why, but it is a fire that started and I can't extinguish...sorry for the cheesy metaphor, but I don't what God is going to do with this passion but I know He has a plan.

Familia...

This is going to seem random and out of nowhere, but I really love my family and the way we do things and I wouldn't change any of it for anything : )

Roomies...

This past weekend my roommates and I took "family" pictures so we'd have something to hang on our wall...here are some of my favorites... Us and our dogs...Jazz and Lily...

We can't take a normal looking picture every time...The neighbor boys come hang out with us a lot and wanted to be in the pictures too..

Probably couldn't find three better roommates if I tried...

and just in case we ever form a band... : )

Ugh...

Ok, I'll just say it...I'm bored...I'm tired of school...I don't feel motivated...I don't have a clue what I'm supposed to be doing...or if what I am doing is what I should be doing...I'm feeling restless...and I don't know what to do about any of it...

Tasia...

I'm going to miss that silly, old dog...

Ridiculous...

It's funny how one minute I can feel grown up and kind of, half way, sort of an adult...

And then the next second I feel like I'm in high school again and I'm reminded that I'm still young and have a lot to learn...

Distraction...

So I realize I haven't done a very good job updating recently. Really my life hasn't been so super exciting. School started, I'm already a little overwhelmed, I went home this past weekend for Labor Day, that was good and relaxing and quick, and now I'm back here at school.

Today, though, I was thinking about New York and how much I missed it, which is something I think about a lot actually. It too was stressful and busy, but in a different sort of way.

Today, though, I was thinking about one of my favorite ministries called the Green Team. The Green Team is run by New York's Horticulture society and is also a rehabilitation program for people just coming out of prison. For the record these aren't hardened criminals. It's people who have spent less than a year in prison for a not super serious crime. They are given a paid internship with the Green Team and learn landscaping skills, so that will then be able to get a job. The guy in charge, Mark, is one of the most interesting guys I've ever met. He knows a lot about history and plants and likes to impart his knowledge about both subjects on us volunteers and his workers.

I loved the chance to play in the dirt and plant things...because who thought that during my summer in the middle of New York City I would have a chance to garden? I loved getting random bits of information about the city's history and I loved talking to the people who were there working beside me, and getting to learn about gardening from them.

Then I remember being impressed by Mark and his love for the people who worked for them. Unless you already knew that most of them were just out of prison then walking up you would have never been able to tell. Mark treated them all with respect and trusted them as you would anybody else. He was passionate about his gardens and about helping his workers to learn the skills they needed and he did all of it without any judgment or condescension.

Why can't we all love like that all the time?

Adjustments...

Well, I've almost been down in Springfield for almost a week now. Its been a little weird and required some adjusting. I came from an intense summer to only a week or so at home and then down to school where I moved from campus into an apartment.

If you know me you know I'm not a huge fan of change. So the first few days in my apartment were a little difficult. I've been an RA for the past two years. I know the job, I know the people, I lived in the same room, and I knew what was expected from me. Last year was especially great and it was a hard decision to leave, and I was sad when the end came.

Anyway, so here I am just coming back from this crazy summer to home which is of course familiar to Springfield where I am making changes in my life. The inconsistence of the familiarity kind of threw me off a little and so the first few days were tough knowing what was going on on campus and that I wasn't a part of it anymore.

I still wonder if I made the right decision. I think so...and I'm sure that if I was sitting in my RA room I would be asking myself the same question. Either way its going to be a hectic semester...here's to trying to make it to finals week with my sanity : )

Relaxing...

So I've now been home for about a week. I actually flew straight from New York to Kansas City for a wedding...which was outside, which was hot...but it was fun anyway. My Bible Study from my freshman year was getting married and it was in her Bible Study in her little RA room each week that year that I found the girls who are now some of my best friends down at school. We were all there and she looked gorgeous and we sweated a lot and all got sunburnt and danced the night away and it was good and the together time was much needed...

Now I'm home and I leave again on Thursday to move back down to school. I was only home for about 10 days and let's be honest I've spent most of it doing not a whole lot. I've been trying to catch up on sleep because even still I get tired early, which either means I'm getting old or still recovering. I've also been trying to unpack my New York stuff, but also then reorganize to pack to leave again. My room to say the least is chaos.

So the relaxing is going well, but there is also a part of me that's freaking out a little bit. In two days I will be moving into my first big girl apartment where I have to pay rent and buy groceries and cook real food...I don't know if I'm ready for this step yet...

God of This City...

You're the God of this City
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You are

You're the Light in this darkness
You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless
You are

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City

2 Hours...

So I have a little less than 2 hours left in New York City now. I'm sitting in our church's library waiting for the car to come and pick me up and take me to the airport. I can't believe it's almost officially done and I'll be saying goodbye to the good friends I've made here and to a city that has so much brokenness, but so much potential and so much room for God to do amazing things.

I spent yesterday morning serving at my last ministry site of the summer, but at one of my favorites. We went to an organization called God's Love We Deliver. At no cost the organization delivers nutritious meals terminally ill patients in their homes. It is available to anyone, rich or poor, with any life threatening illness from AIDS to cancer to MS to scleroderma ( I just learned about that one yesterday). And so that brings me to Irene who I met on my group's delivery route yesterday. She was the last apartment on the route and normally I let my group go up to the apartment to drop off the food, but for some reason I asked if I could go up with the guy going this time. So we rode the elevator to the 12th floor and found her patiently waiting in the hallway for us. She was the most fragile lady I had ever seen. The scleroderma affects your skin as well as your organs like your kidneys, esophagus, heart and lungs. All of Irene's food has to be pureed and she has a tube in her throat because the food will harden as it goes down her esophagus and she won't be able to eat...So we round the corner and there is this tiny woman, skin and bones, waiting for us. Her eyes light up when she sees us and she gives us the biggest smile. She thanked us profusely and gave each of us a hug, telling us what a blessing the organization was and what a blessing we were for being willing to deliver this food. Irene asked us our names and where we were from and what school I went to and what I was studying. When she heard I was studying theatre she was so excited and that was her passion and she had been part of the Yiddish theatre (she was wearing her head scarf) as well as doing summer stock theatre in Conneticut, but she had also been a registered nurse. She was so interested to know about us and I wish that I had been able to talk to her longer and hear all about her life. But she thanked us once again and said she hope our that God blessed our lives and we said our goodbyes and headed back to the lobby.

We don't always get to see the effect of what it is we are doing, but yesterday I got to see it. I am so glad I asked to deliver this meal and that I got to meet this sweet, precious lady who had such a positive outlook on life. I got to see one last time how God is working here in New York City. He knew just how to perfectly end my summer.

I don't know if I'll ever be back hereto New York in this capacity, but I feel blessed to have had the chance to be here the last couple months. I don't know where it is God will send me and that's a little scary, but I can't wait to find out.

Summer in a New York Minute...

It's hard to believe that in 2 days I'll be leaving New York and in 4 days I'll be home...summer has gone by incredibly fast. I feel like I just got here! It'll be weird to be home and to adjust back to a normal schedule. I just wanted to share, though, some more on the things I've experienced this summer...

First...subway performances...
1 hip hop dance crew
2 Michael Jackson cover artists
4 Mariachi Bands
3 R&B groups
3 barbershop quartets
2 3-person bongo playing groups (they brought their drums and small chairs onto the car with them)
1 free styling poet
and 1 man who started out singing a precious love song about two people in love and then proceeded to transition into "if you think I'm sexy and you want my body...come on baby let me know..." (I had to turn away I was laughing so much at this transition)
This is not to mention all the performers who perform out on the platform, from tap dancers, to singers, to musicians with their instruments...even someone playing a saw....

On a more serious note I have actually learned some things...not so much about what it is I'm supposed to be doing with my life, but more about myself. I learned I don't have as much patience as I thought I did and its something I need to definitely work on. I learned sometimes I have trouble delegating because I'd rather just do a job to my satisfaction and have it done my way, and I can't always do that. I need help sometimes. I know my faith has grown and that God gave me the groups I had on purpose to teach me those things and to keep me focused on Him. I got to see God working in my friend Jody's life and I'm so blessed to be able to live with this year as we both adjust to normalcy. I can't wait to see what other plans He has, but as usual He is constantly reminding me of His timing.

I was humbled this summer as I came in contact with so many people from so many different walks of life, some who from looking at their situation you would assume them to have far less faith but seem to have much more than me. It is easy to praise God when things are good, but it is difficult in the storm. I had no control in what family and situation I would end up in. How did I end up so blessed? Most New Yorkers spend more than half their income on rent, leaving little money left for food and other necessities. It takes a great deal to put one's pride aside and get in line at a soup kitchen for a meal. Who am I to judge why they're here? 76% of people living in the New York shelter system are families, many with jobs, but not able to make ends meet because the cost of living is so high. I feel like there's something wrong with that. I want to help all of them. I want all the of the kids to get to go to good schools and get good educations and see that there are so many opportunities outside of their neighborhoods. Where do I fit in? I don't know yet, so I have to wait and see where God takes me next.

Summer Photos

I thought I would post for you some of the pictures from this summer for you...so here you go...
we went to a Yankees game... I walked the Brooklyn Bridge at least once a week We celebrated the 4th of July Coney Island and Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs...you don't get one without the other...

The NYC Relief Bus...one of my favorite sites...

It's been a good summer...I can't believe I only have 4 more days left...

Guitar Lessons...

Yesterday my group and I went to a ministry site called Salt and Sea Mission in Coney Island. Salt and Sea ministers to the homeless of Coney Island and was started by a woman who was once herself homeless and living underneath the beach's boardwalk.

One of the boys in our group brought his guitar with him because we had been asked to lead worship for a short church service the mission has each day. And he and the girl that sang did a good job of it. Everyone enjoyed the songs and sang along, as well as played tambourines that had been passed out before the service. It was wonderful to watch as hands were raised, and hallelujahs were called out, and tambourines were played (sometimes not on beat, but it didn't matter). It was a joyful sound to the Lord.

Then after the service we were asked to help with the food pantry and do some cleaning around the building. Danny, the guy who led worship though, was requested for something else. Apparently just a couple days before a little boy, whose name was also Danny, had been saying he wanted to learn to play the guitar and so he and the pastor had prayed that God would send someone to help him get started. Well, suddenly here was big Danny with his guitar willing to do just that and so they sat together and big Danny showed little Danny where to put his fingers and how to hold the guitar. And together they plucked out a few notes and some chords.

After we left big Danny approached me and asked if there was anyway he could possible purchase a beginner's guitar book and have the group going to Salt and Sea take with them to give to little Danny on Thursday. So today since I had the day off I ventured into Manhattan in search of a beginner's guitar book. When I got off the train at the Rockefeller Plaza stop I was greeted by a torrential downpour (funny how you can get on the train with the sun shining and then 45 minutes later make your way above ground to find the weather is not how you left it). I tried waiting at the bottom of the stairs to the sidewalk, hoping that maybe it would slow but no such luck. So I bounded up the stairs and was instantly soaked through, dodging big puddles, practically wiping out a couple times because Old Navy flip flops have zero traction to begin with but are perilous in the rain. But big and little Danny were counting on me and I was on a mission. I finally made it to the music store, cold and thoroughly wet, but determined to find a good guitar book for little Danny. I'm not sure how long I stood there trying to figure out what book would be the best, but I finally picked one out that even my-not-so-musically-inclined self could understand.

So, Lord, please bless little Danny the budding musician. Thank you for big Danny and his love for little Danny and that he will be able to take what he will learn and use it for Your glory. Amen.

Reminders...

So three times now I have seen the same mother and daughter and they always seem so happy and the little girl is talking away to her mom and her mom just sits there listening intently (try as I may to listen intently it usually unsuccessful as they're speaking Chinese...oh well) and then they laugh and talk some more and smile and I think about how much I miss my own mom (and the rest of my family of course) and how I'm itching to get back home in a week and a half : )

A spoonful of sugar...

This weekend turned out to be a pretty good and relaxing one...I spent the first part of Saturday taking some much needed time to just relax, not doing anything, and only leaving my room to first run to the drugstore for more toothpaste and then to make lunch...then that evening I went to see Mary Poppins on Broadway with one of my fellow staff members, one of her groups had given her two tickets as a gift a while back and so I went with her. And it was so cute! They did such a good job! A couple of things from the movie and there were a few new songs, but other than that it was "practically perfect in every way..." : )

Hersey Kisses...

So I was recently told that I should talk about the positive things that happen since it always seems that I am talking about my groups that I don't like because I don't want people to think I'm having a bad time...because I'm not...

So I mentioned in my last post about my group last week and how great they were, but didn't really tell much about them...so here you go...

First of all they were so goofy and had a ton of energy, but then when it was time to work they did the job and they did it well and worked hard. The leaders were awesome and the group was so easy to work with and I had no complaints all week...

They also bought me a present : )...every Thursday evening the groups are given a free night and so on this particular night I happened to get back to the church about the same time my group was getting back. One of the boys came up to me and told me that a few of them had something for me. I assumed they wanted to sing me this song they had been making up all week about the subway and asked if it could wait until tomorrow, but he said it couldn't and that I needed to meet them at the bottom of the stairs when I came inside, so I agreed. I came down the stairs to find three of my guys sitting and waiting for me looking excited like little kids. Then they told me they had gotten me a present and handed me a bag. By this time they were starting to laugh and I was a little wary as I opened the bag, not knowing what to expect. First I pulled out a giant Hershey bar and then I saw that there was something else in the bottom. By this time they are almost doubled over in laughter, so excited about the next part of the gift. So I pull it out and what is it? but a t-shirt that says "I heart kisses" and in the heart in a Hershey kiss.
"Do you love it, Jess?"
"Yeah, do you love it Miss Lewis?"...yes, they called me Miss Lewis because they thought it was funny...
"I absolutely love it!"
"Good! You have to wear it tomorrow!"
And I did...underneath another shirt because I knew we would be getting dirty the next day and I didn't want to get my new shirt dirty! And when I came downstairs that morning they looked a little disappointed at first until I reassured them that I was in fact wearing my Hershey kisses shirt...

They were so fun...its groups like that that I wish I had for another week, to have the chance to get to know better and invest more in...they're the groups that make this job worthwhile... : )

Oy vey...

This week is already off to a rough start...the main leader of my group is high maintenance and demanding, and the girls are princesses (even more so than the ones I previously wrote about) and blatantly defiant...I'm already frustrated...why can't I ever have two great groups in a row? Last week's group was awesome and I wish they were here for another week, but a really awesome group only seems to happen every 3 or 4 weeks for me...Lord, please grant me all kinds of patience for this week...

Spanglish Chaos...

Today my group and I spent the day at an organization called Operation Exodus. During the school year it functions as a tutoring/afterschool program for kindergarten through 8th grade and during the summer it's a tutoring/daycamp/VBS program...located in Washington Heights, which is in Manhattan above Harlem...in case you were wondering...

It is mostly all Dominican, all sass, all organized chaos, all Spanglish...

Washington Heights is a mostly Dominican neighborhood, the kids at the program are all bilingual so the whole day was a mix of Spanish and English and I wished I'd paid more attention in Spanish class/continued on in my Spanish education...the first part of the day is spent on academics, then we herd the kids to lunch at a near by school, then its off to recess at the park where there are different activity stations but basically the kids just run wild for a good two hours and harass the poor chupe man (chupes are popsicle like snacks that a vendor with a cart sells for $1 and the "e" is pronounced as an "a").

"I want a chupe!" "Did you bring money for a chupe?" "...No..." "Well, then no chupe..." (child runs off to try to convince chupe man to give them a free one....

I was constantly, desperately surveying the park looking for my kindergarten class. Honestly, I have no idea how we successfully got all of the kids across the street to the park and then the school and back again without losing anyone, but somehow in all the chaos we managed to make it happen.

After recess is snack, which is once again noisy and you're constantly counting heads as kids try to wander and refilling juice demands and telling kids to stay in their seats. Then was craft time and an attempt to teach about Pablo Picasso and finally telling a group of uninterested kindergarteners to just draw silly looking faces because that's about as close to grasping Picasso as they're going to get. Lastly comes praise time where the whole program comes together and worships and hears a Bible story. And once again it was loud as the kids took it upon themselves to scream out the lyrics to the songs...

Did I mention a lot of us were left with our own classes since some of the teachers had a half day of work? Yep, I spent the day with 12 kindergarteners who I'm sure were discussing my incompetence in Spanish because they for sure knew I didn't understand...I even carried one girl from the bathroom to snack Behaven style when she refused to join the rest of the class...

Ok, so it was exhausting and crazy and you feel frazzled for a majority of the time but really at the end of the day when they insist on showing you the picture they drew and hugging you goodbye it makes for a pretty good day...

4th of July...

In other news...last week ended with the 4th of July...obviously...

My staff and I staked out a place by the Hudson, made a food run and then sat for 4 or 5 hours waiting for the 9:30 firework display.

The city lined up 8 barges along the river and set off 40,000 fireworks...and it was awesome.

A good end to a long week...

Sometimes...

I got in trouble last night with my mom for not having updated my blog since the 24th of June, so here you go...

Sometimes I have weeks where I feel like nothing happens. I feel like that's been the last couple weeks. Not that the Canadians weren't nice, but nothing too significant or outrageous or profound happened.

This past week was another group from Ohio and once again I had all younger kids. Everyone in my group had just finished the 8th grade and so technically they weren't even in high school yet...and it was exhausting. I felt like they probably thought I was just a grouch because I was constantly telling them not to do things and feeling annoyed with them. The fact that three of the girls in my group were princesses did not help my mood either.

The group was a little whiny (is that how you spell that?), had listening issues, and had a habit of saying things out loud about the people and places we were that should have just been kept in their heads...I was annoyed most of the week.

Sometimes I have weeks where I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I show up at the ministry sites and do whatever it is they need us to do. I put a smile on my face and hand out the next plate of food.

Sometimes I feel like I expect big things to happen and for God to be obvious in the work we're doing. It's not always the case, though, Not because he's not present where we are, but that just because we're doing His work doesn't mean he still can't work in a not necessarily obvious way to our human eyes.

Sometimes I just have to believe that even, though I can't see it I know God is still working in this city, at our ministry sites, through me, through my groups, and in our lives.

Canada, eh?

My group this week is from Toronto, Canada...and yes, they do say "eh" at the end of their sentences...they're are also super obssessed with recycling, Obama, eating healthy, and allergic reactions to peanut butter (they were shocked when I told them they could make peanut butter sanwiches and take them out in public because I guess you're not allowed in Canada in the event you're next to someone with a severe allergy...anyway...

We spent this morning/early afternoon at the Agape Soup Kitchen in Brooklyn with Brother Omar. When we started out serving lunch it was way too many cooks in the kitchen. Some of us were standing around, all of us were mostly in the way, and those serving were running back and forth trying to keep up with the steady flow of people coming in for lunch. Eventually, things slowed down a little and some of the students went across the street to the church connected with the soup kitchen and those not serving food or sent to vacuum at the church began to talk with the people left eating.

Mostly, it just amazes me every time how much of a difference just sitting and talking to someone for a little while can make. There weren't any philosophical discussions or evangelizing, just talks about life and where people were from and what they do and how great a city New York is...that's all, just simple conversations...and sometimes that's all people need...

Grand Central...

Sometimes when we need a filler during the day because of a gap between ministry sites or something we take our groups to Grand Central. Then we hand them a paper, sending them on a scavenger hunt, giving us 30-45 mintues of sit and think about nothing time...it's wonderful...

Ohio...

This week's group hails from Lebanon, OH. They're a few years younger than last week's group, most of whom had just graduated from high school, whereas these kids are just beginning high school...and there is an obvious difference. I feel like I am constantly repeating myself and telling them not to stand too close to the platform edge or to move out of the way so the 13 of us aren't taking up the entire sidewalk or to split up as we enter a subway car because 13 people can't go through one door at once and the list goes on...I notice that they're leaders take charge in situations where they're supoosed to be talking to people and stepping out and I'm not upset that they're leaders are taking things away from this experience too, but so far it doesn't feel as if the students are getting anything out of it...at least they most of them enjoyed tonight's Dominican restaurant, right?...I know it's only the beginning of the week, so we'll see as we go to two ministry sites tomorrow. Hopefully, they'll be able to step out and see God working...in the meantime I'll be making sure they're not falling on to any train tracks...

CSM Team 2009...

I know people have been asking...so here's a picture of our team...I'll add pictures from ministry sites later on when I have some, but in the meantime here you go...

Week One...

Well, we officially finished our first week as hosts. Our group, a delightful bunch from Austin, TX, was with us this week and although the week started out with some nerves it turned out to be a really good one. So thank goodness for that.

I only actually got to spend two days serving with them, but I feel like I learned a lot from watching them.

The first day I was with them went smoothly and we volunteered at a soup kitchen preparing (a.k.a making a large amount of meatloaf, which the group enjoyed mixing with their hands) and serving lunch. Then that afternoon we were at an afterschool program hanging out with some elementary school kids. The group didn't have too much of a problem jumping in and doing what they were asked at the soup kitchen or helping with homework and giving undivided attention to kids at the afterschool program. So I was happy to see they were willing to step up.

It was then a couple days before I was with them again and it was at our second ministry site that I saw God work and my group really be open to letting His love be demonstrated through them. We spent the morning and early afternoon at a ministry site called the NYC Relief Bus, which serves soup and bread out of the side of a bus to pretty much anyone who wants it. That day we were in the Bronx in a little bit of a rougher neighborhood. That didn't deter the group, though. Right away a few jumped in to start serving food and the rest spread out to begin talking to people coming by. And the whole time they invested themselves in these people who often are overlooked and ignored, but here was a group of high schoolers excited to listen to their stories.

One particular man named Angel spent the entire time at the bus and I was just so impressed as the students asked him questions and genuinely cared about him. Then a while later I look over to see one of our students kneeling in front of a chair in which Angel was sitting, clipping his fingernails for him. Apparently Angel has OCD and there was no way he would be able to easily do the task himself, and so one of the high school kids volunteered to clip them for him if he would like. It honestly was one of the most beautiful and precious things I have ever seen. When we discussed it later we talked about how it is almost like the washing of someone's feet. I was just so amazed at these students and in awe of what God was doing here in this little corner of the Bronx.

As I thought about it I realized that it is so important that I continually ask for God to show me what this city and the people I come in contact with look like through His eyes. I can't just go thought the motions of volunteering or I will miss out on something beautiful and wonderful and the chance for God to use me and mold me...

Cold...

Today we had to walk the prayer tour..again...but we just walked it and it had to be by ourselves and we had to make sure we knew where we're going and how to get around and navigate the subway...well, today it was rainy and cold and windy and on top of that I have developed a cold in the last couple days so I was grouchy and sniffly...hopefully tomorrow will bring better weather and less congestion...

This Week...

So I left off at Coney Island the last time, which was lots of fun. We didn't get to play at the amusement park, but we did have Nathan's famous hotdogs and then did some team building stuff on the beach, which earned us some weird looks. Coney Island also attracts lot of interesting people so it was fun to do a little people watching as well ha ha!

Sunday we woke up and attended church at the church we're staying at. In one Sunday our church houses a Chinese church, Norwegian church, Arabic church, Armenian church, and an English speaking church. Then after a couple of the morning services there was a cookout and there were people from the Norwegian, Chinese, and English speaking services there for lunch. We then had a free afternoon in which a couple of us ran some errands and then headed over to the Brooklyn Tabernacle where Darlene Zschech was performing with the Hillsong worship team and the Brooklyn Tabernacle choir...and it was awesome! It was just so cool to have so many people in one place together worshiping like that! It was a good night!

Monday just brought more training and 4 hours in a coffee shop mapping out subway routes and marking down ministry sites and restaurants in our guide books...it was a long day...dinner, though, = Mediterranean

Tuesday...we spent the day finding some of our actual ministry sites around the city. We volunteered at one site in the evening serving meals, playing games, and doing crafts at a ministry called Father's Heart, you'll hear more about the ministry at a later date...dinner = Polish cuisine

Today...was more office and training stuff which was long and a little boring, but then this evening we went on what is called an Immersion. We were split into groups of four and given a specific neighborhood in which to go to, ours was the Chelsea/ Lower Westside neighborhood. Each group was then given $2 per person in their group and assigned to purchase dinner for our groups and one other person. We had to hand over our phones and watches and were only able to take a subway map and our metrocard with us. We also had to stop a person on the street and ask them about the neighborhood and the changes they've seen since living there and if they knew of any food pantry or homeless shelters in the area, so we set off. Well, if you thought New Yorkers were maybe a little grouchy normally then you may be interested to know that they're extra grouchy when its cold and raining. We had a tough time getting anyone to stop and answer or questions, and the man that finally did seemed a little suspicious at first about why we had all these questions for him. It is also incredibly hard to find food to feed 5 for only $8. Many vendors or businesses refused to barter with us. We ended up finding a fruit vendor selling fruit for pretty cheap and that became our dinner. We shared the rest of the fruit with a man staying out of the rain in the subway station. The immersion is meant to give groups a chance to try and experience what it's like to try and find food on a tight budget and you definitely cannot find very much food for only $8.

It was definitely a good learning and growing experience, although I've never known true hunger and true struggle that the almost 33,000 homeless in New York City experience.

I'm sorry these have been not super detailed and few and far between. Things are crazy, but I'm learning a lot and trying not to write small novels as I try to fill you in on the going ons : )

So far...

So I only have a few minutes to briefly post what I've been up to the past couple days. I just realized I've been here 5 days now and I keep thinking, "I've only been here five days?"...anyway, it's been a while beacause we've been busy and my internet refuses to connect in my room, but one of my roommates told me when hers has problems she just goes to the church library and has no problem so here I am...

Day 1 (Tuesday): I recounted the beginning, but then after that there was some training and getting to know you stuff and then we explored our neighborhood in Brooklyn, which for all you who may be curious I live in the Bayridge neighborhood...dinner = Indian cuisine

Day 2 (Wednesday): We headed out on our first prayer tour and saw a whole lot of the city and prayed for different parts and people, ending with a walk over the Brooklyn Bridge, and at least 10 miles of walking...dinner = El Salvadorian cuisine

Day 3 (Thursday): Subway day...basically consisted of our directors assigning each of us a different borough to start out in (Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Staten Island, or the Bronx), hopping on a subway to get there, exploring the neighborhood a little, then having to ride any of the different colored subway routes to a new borough, exploring a neighborhood, using the bus system at some point, and riding at least one route to its very last stop...it was scary but it was definitely effective in helping to understand the subways much better...dinner = Vietnamese Cuisine

Day 4 (Friday): another prayer tour day but today we just took the route, but us interns had to do a lot of the directions and getting around and a lot more walking...then after dinner we explored more of the city and saw the main musician from the David Letterman Show in SoHo...dinner = Indian cuisine

Day 5 (Saturday)= that's today and today we get to go play at Coney Island!!!!

that's just a quick recap...I love and miss you all!

Day one...

Well, I officially survived my first day of traveling and getting settled in and seeing the city...not with a coupld mishaps to start it off, though.

I'm pretty sure God through a test at me right away, first thing this morning just to see if I trusted him and I'll be honest...I'm not sure I did very well.

I got to the airport on time, so that was fine...and I checked my bags and that was fine...and when I was checking in they gave me a seat request card, which I thought was a little weird but whatever...so after a little confusion I went through security...and this is where it went a little downhill...First of all the guy behind me was in a huge hurry and practically pushing me through the security check, shoving my bins along before I've had a chance to take off my shoes or unload my laptop or anything so I was annoyed about that. And then in his hurry he whips off his belt, snapping me in the arm with it as he's taking it off and with no apology and it hurt! Then we're through waiting for our bags and such to come through the machine and he butts in front of me, as if him shuffling me out of the way is going to magically put his stuff in front of mine...it didn't for the record but I waited to get my stuff because I was done dealing with his rudeness by that point...so I then go to the gate, a little grouchy, only to find out that they've overbooked the flight by 11 and I'm 8th on the list to get a seat...what?...I call my dad who is standing on the other side of security but all I can do is sit tight and wait and I just may end up on another plane causing me to get into New York 3 hours later than I'm supposed to...and by this time I don't have much hope of getting on the plane after hearing some businessmen discussing how giving up a seat is not worth whatever the compensation is...great...I did try to pray, but it wasn't very heartfelt at all and I just didn't think it was going to happen...

Well, guess what! At least 8 people ended up giving up their seats, much to my astonishment and I was on...and grateful,,,and feeling ashamed for not trusting that it would be taken care of...then, though, I had to have another reality check on the plane because I was not feeling very loving to the human population what with security check guy, and snobby business men, and the guy who was sitting in my window seat on the internet on his phone not even looking out the window, and the 5 chatty ladies behind me...I realized I was sitting there still feeling grouchy on the plane and not being completely grateful that I had even made the flight...and I know there are going to be days where I just don't want to love anyone and nothing seems to be working out, but I can't let that get to me because then I'll fail at what it is God has me here to do this summer and at seeing what awesome things He's doing in this city...

It's almost here...

Well, I leave for New York tomorrow...I leave for New York tomorrow. I've spent the last week reminding myself everyday and it's still a little hard to believe.

I'm kind of freaking out a little bit, actually.

When I visited CSM over Spring Break I got a little bit of an idea of what it is they do, but one day is hardly enough to cover it all. So I pretty much feel like I'm going into this thing somewhat blindly...and I don't do blindly. I like to have a plan and know all the details, but I don't really have a whole lot of that this time...and thus the freak out. I keep having to remind myself that God is in control and if He let me know all the details of this summer then I probably wouldn't go.

So I need some prayer...first that I will be open to whatever it is God has planned for me and that His love will show through me to the people I come in contact with and that my faith will grow...secondly for patience and love when it just doesn't seem like I have any left...thridly (is that a word?) for the CSM team that we will just bond and come together to do God's work this summer...lastly that God will prepare the hearts of the people we will meet this summer, whether it's that they come to know Him or we're just a seed planter...and then prayer for all the little things in between

I know it's going to be tough and there's going to be spiritual warfare and days that I just don't want to do it anymore, but I know also that it's going to be an awesome summer and so in the midst of the freak out I'm still excited to see what God has in store...

So here I go...I'll do my best to keep people updated through the blog and return emails if you email me...also my friend Jody is in Nashville with CSM so if you feel so inclined here's her blog http://seekingrecklessabandon.wordpress.com/ ...so until next time, when I'll in fact be in New York, I love you all!

Patience...

As I was laying in bed last night I got to thinking about where I was around the same time last year, which was probably laying in bed. I was thinking about the different things that were happening in my life at the time and all the events of that summer. There was work and surgeries (both planned and unplanned) and family reunions and people...and then I thought about how far away last summer felt and then I though about how far away first semester felt and even things that happened this last semester seem like they were a long time ago and it's all been only over the course of a year. There were some things from this summer that didn't work out quite how I'd planned them and then I was upset because I thought I finally maybe had something even the tiniest bit worked out...wrong. That didn't last long.

It was frustrating and I didn't get it.

That happened a lot this year actually, now that I think about it. I would have some sort of a plan and everything seemed to be working or that I could at least help it along in the process and then God would say, "Not quite, Jessica," and the plan would change. I like to think I'm flexible most of the time, but I'm seeing that I can be flexible when I'm more in control and willing to change not when it seems that God has other ideas. It's a patience thing and it has been/still is a difficult thing for me to learn.

Ugh...

I've been home from school for 3 1/2 days now...have I unpacked any of my stuff yet?...no...I am just living out of my suitcase, things strewn about, as I search for whatever I need at that moment...I hate living out of a suitcase...I leave for New York in 7 days and have yet to start getting things together and ready to go. It's just seems like such a daunting task and I'd rather be outside where it's sunny or hanging out with my dad (which probably means going to the grocery store) because it's his day off...but I can't find anything so at some point it's all going to have to come unpacked...ugh!

Here it is...

Well, here it is...my first ever blog...

I never really saw myself as the type to have blog page, just the type to read them. I'm going to New York this summer, though, and I needed a way to keep a lot of people updated in an easy manner...thus my blog was born...

New York...honestly, the fact that that's where I'll be for a summer still hasn't quite sunk in...what?! New York?! Me?!...Yep, it's true. I have my friend Jody to thank for planting the idea in my head. We both have a heart for urban ministry, she introduced me to CSM (Center for Student Missions), I spent a large chunk of time perusing their website, then thinking and praying, and then applying. I ended up with an interview in New York City over spring break, prayed some more, waited, prayed, and waited...then on April 28 after wondering if I was ever going to hear back I received a call and the invitation to join the CSM team for the summer! She asked if I needed a couple days to think about and I said, 'absolutely not!' Then a whirlwind of forms and books and doing my best to successfully finish out the school year with the knowledge that this was going to be one of the best summers ever...

This could be one of the best summers ever. Right now, I'm a mix of emotions. I'm excited, but there's a little, ok a lot, of nervousness there in a knot in my chest. This is the first summer I won't have spent at home...ever...and that's scary. I know, though, that God has big plans for this summer and I prayed and prayed about this and it is something that He has given me a passion for and so even in the scariness I know that whatever it is, it's going to be good...