Grouchy...

I am grouchy today and I have spent almost the entire day being grouchy.

I got to school and realized that there was a rip in the pair of jeans I was wearing, one of my favorite pairs and there's a rip in them. Then I realized that I forgot to take an online quiz for one of my classes. First thing at work I had to listen to sorority drama from the girls in my office. It was a perfect day outside, and while that should have made things better today it just made me grouchier because I had to spend it either in class and at work. My lack of sleep over the past couple days probably didn't help either. The past few nights I can't turn my brain off. It just keeps going and I just lay there thinking about a million different things. I'm thinking about things I wish I had done differently and situations I wish had turned out better. I'm thinking about things I wish I hadn't said or things I wish I had. I wonder if I made the right decision about things and wonder what it would be like if I chose something different...

I can't shut my brain off during the day either lately. I feel like I catch myself going over all of it all the time.

In all of my grouchiness, though, there was a breath of fresh air. Adding to my day was the thought that I still have another year here when there are other things I'd rather be doing, but while I was sitting at work today thinking about it I suddenly had a sense of calm. At that moment I was thinking about how I just wanted to be done with school and out of nowhere it just kind of fell away. I thought about the fact that most of my friends will still be here, something that I'm constantly reminding myself of, but today it clicked. I don't need to have it figured out right now. I have time. I'm not feeling overjoyed at the thought, but for today I don't feel grouchy about it.

And it's going to be ok.